an update on poop, boobs and sleeping

So.

I'm going to knock on wood before I say this, but it wasn't a fluke. Jax slept 7 hours, and better yet, I no longer think he cried himself to sleep.

In the last two weeks, my little man has had 5, 6 and 7 hour stretches of sleep. Just like that. We didn't do anything differently, it's like it just "clicked" and he decided he was going to let mom get some rest. Granted, it's not that great every night, and he's still waking up 3-4 times a night, but when you consider that he's going to sleep between 6:30 and 7 pm, it's not that bad.

Mom - I got this.

And I'll be honest here, for awhile - it was BAD. There were several nights during the last few months where I was crying, not sure how in the hell I was supposed to do this night after night after night with no reprise. There were days when I could barely form coherent sentences, let alone say anything nice to anyone. Read: I'm not a kind person when I'm overtired. So right here, I'd like to make a note for myself for when we (hopefully) have another baby - IT GETS BETTER. You WILL sleep again. And you will feel FANTASTIC when it happens.

There are a couple things that we think contributed to the improved sleep...first being his age - I believe that babies need to learn how to sleep. Second...the No Cry Sleep Solution was the book that encouraged us to make (and stick to) a consistent bedtime routine, and also enlightened us on the importance of naps. Once the bedtime routine started improving (it used to be a 2 hour battle that dragged on until 10 pm or later), the naps followed (we used to be lucky if he'd nap for 20 minutes). Now naps are 1-2+ hours long, the occur consistently, and bedtime is early and easier. And the small amount of free time that results does wonders for my sanity.

Working so hard on crawling - he is so close!

I also think that the transition from cosleeping to crib has helped him significantly. It breaks my heart, but I think it's been good for us. When Jax slept next to me, he nursed on and off for most of the night. That was fine with me, as long as it was a quick wake up, have snack, fall back asleep. That peaceful routine didn't last long - soon there was crying (him, usually), kicks to the bladder (mine), and frustration (both of us) when no one was sleeping. I know some people have totally blissful cosleeping relationships, and to be honest - that's what I wanted. I wanted to snuggle my baby at night. But I've read that some babies just don't sleep soundly when others are rustling around next to them, and I think we are in that boat. So we're trying to keep him in his crib for the night, and he sleeps longer, better, and deeper when he's in there.

One of the first things I noticed after Jax started sleeping better is that my pumping output decreased like WHOA. When he was first born, I dealt with a minor oversupply and I was pretty much Bessie the cow when I pumped. Pumping sucks, but at least I was getting a good deal of milk for my time. Now? Wah wah. :( I'm lucky to get 4 ounces total after 25 minutes of pumping. I'm not at the point where I need to take herbal supplements to boost things, but there is a definite difference.

The silver lining of my decreased supply? My boobs stopped leaking! For the last 9 months, I've worn a bra 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Other moms tell me that this is quite unusual - most leaking stops in the first few weeks, I guess my boobs are just...extra leaky. I can't even tell you how good it feels to sleep without a bra. Heaven - it is heaven!

And on the subject of feeding, even with no teeth, we're still cruising along with baby lead weaning. Jax is eating more and more everyday, and it's usually really, really messy, but also hilarious. He has the best faces when he tries new things! I couldn't list all the foods he's had if I tried, but if anyone is looking for ideas, leave me a comment and I'll let you know our faves.

The major downfall with solid foods....the diapers. They are decidedly ickier now. We're still 100% cloth diapering - we've only used disposables once (on a 2 day family vacation), and we haven't encountered any real problems, or even had a diaper rash. But I'll just let you know that spraying out the "real" poop is not very fun, and it does add another step to the system.

And to close out this random post, I'll leave you with this video. It brightens my day every time I watch it.

our dream house...revised

If you'd asked me yesterday, I would have told you that we were back to square one in regards to selling our house. On Friday, I texted our (potential) buyer, and asked him if he was still interested or if he was just jerking us around. Of course, I said it in a very nice, no-pressure sort of way. He told me that he was fairly certain he was going to put an offer in on a different, cheaper property. We live right on a state line (we live in Minnesota, just barely), and I assumed the condo he was buying was in Wisconsin. Home values in WI are lower (although taxes are much higher), so there was really no way to compete. We told him to keep us posted, and that we still encouraged him to make an offer, but we assumed we'd never hear from him again.

So imagine my surprise when the realtor we have been working with told me that he'd had a long conversation with this buyer, and that he is now planning to make us an offer "soon". Our realtor told us that he wasn't sure exactly when, or how much it would be for. What the what!!??

I about fell over from the shock. This entire process is really just a system of ups and downs. So today we're excited again, and hoping this buyer comes in with a reasonable offer and doesn't totally low ball us. Oh, and this realtor? ....he has been AWESOME. This is the same realtor who first showed us this house, and then found us the lot that didn't happen. He's also the one who put together the contract we currently have on another lot...which I just realized I've never talked about here! He's shown us many, many properties and has always let me know when something new came on the market. All the while, he's never once pressured us about the fact that our house is for sale by owner (which we did to save money...so we don't pay realtor fees).

About that lot....We found another lot in town...it's more money, will require significant excavating, and it's more "in town" than we initially wanted to be, but it's a fabulous neighborhood and it's almost a full acre. We'd have a private, wooded (albeit steep) backyard, and the benefits of a brand new park nearby and lots of young neighbors too. It's also city water and city sewer so we don't have to worry about the cost of a septic system or well...which almost balances out the cost.

So anyways, we decided to have this realtor do the contract for our new lot since it felt wrong to go around him and do a contract with a lawyer when he'd put in so many hours with us. He drew up the contract (contingent on the sale of our condo) and he isn't even going to charge us a fee! The realty company he works for is the listing agent for the lot, so he said he'll get paid that way. Seriously, he's awesome, and we think he may have actually helped convince this buyer to put in an offer (the potential buyer and our realtor are acquaintances, in some small-town, roundabout way).

Gosh, this post is getting long and I haven't even gotten to the fun stuff! So, I wanted to do a little update about the house we want to build. I posted about this once before, but we have changed our minds about lots of things, so here's our list of dream home characteristics as it stands now (please note: this might seem excessive to those of you who live on the coasts...I COULD NOT BELIEVE the home prices when I visited DC and NYC. One of the benefits of living in the midwest is cheap house prices...but we do without other things, like Shake Shack and vintage furniture stores. :)


Without further ado... (and please! I would love feedback, especially if you think we're missing something!)

Our current must have list:

-A finished basement. We're thinking a playroom, a bathroom and a bedroom or two. We like the idea of finishing a basement for more space rather than building a huge house...this saves significant cash, too.

-4+ bedrooms. Lots of room for babies ;) and we'd like to keep a guest bedroom too. One or two can be in the basement.

-A master bathroom for more privacy. We only have one full bath now, and my nosy little sister found pregnancy tests in there before we had announced our pregnancy...so yeah.

-A stellar kitchen! The kitchen functions as a command center in our house, so it makes sense to spend some $ for an airy, open space with lots of storage and a great floor plan. Pantry space, an island, cabinets that extend to the ceiling and an under mount farmhouse sink are on my list of musts. I also love the idea of an eat in kitchen with a banquette seat.

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-Space for a garden.

-A walk in master closet. We have one now, and you really can't go back. Full closets in the other bedrooms too.

-Ceiling fans in the bedrooms, and quality vent fans in the bathrooms. Some people hate them, and I admit there are prettier lighting options, but it gets hot here! I'm going to try to find some sleeker options.

Source: homegoods.com via Maggie on Pinterest

-No boob lights. And no popcorn ceilings. Yuck.

-White trim! Everything in the midwest is oak, oak, oak. And white kitchen cabinets! I'm toying with the idea of a darker island though...We also love white trim on the exterior.

-Stainless steel appliances.

-Lots of natural light!

-A nice big living room. Second to the kitchen, this is where we spend our time. We'd like to fit a sectional sofa and a few chairs in there.

-An attached garage that enters in to a mudroom. We will likely build a three car garage...garages are actually fairly inexpensive compared to other things, and they add lots of storage. We love, love, love the idea of a mudroom or locker area right where you walk in. This are could be the dumping ground for coats, hats, carseats, etc and would keep clutter out of the rest of the house.

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-A cute front door, a stoop or patio in back, and a smaller front porch. Our backyard will be much more private, so we want to have more space out back than on our front porch.

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And here's the list of things we'd love to have, if we can afford them:
-Pocket doors for the closets and the master bath


-Hickory bathroom cabinets. Weird as it may sound, my second choice for kitchen cabinets is probably hickory too. I love the crazy wood grain and the color variation.

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-A walk in pantry

-Awesome custom closet systems

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-A fruit cellar (do these exist anymore? I always seem them in creepy old basements, but I think it would be awesome to have for storage for the garden)

-Skylights

-Cool architectural features...like ceiling beams, or some neat reclaimed doors.

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-Built in baby gates

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-Built in cabinets in the living room and on/around the basement stairs

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-Geothermal. This will depend on our lot, but it would be great to have!

-A sunroom, ideally with a little reading nook!

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-Crown molding. And wainscotting or board and batten. I love it, but I feel like we could always add it later.

-Taller ceilings. Again, I like the look, but the cost can be prohibitive, depending on floor plan. And then you have to heat them, clean them, and painting is a b!tch...

-A cool tile backsplash in the kitchen. Cool to have, but we could add it later...

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Things we're unsure about:
-Top load vs. front load washer and dryer... I have heard so many mixed reviews! I hear that top loaders aren't as efficient, but front loaders have problems with mildew, seals and that they break down more frequently.

-Wood cabinets or a laminate material... If our cabinets are white, should we still look for painted wood or just go with a laminate material? I've heard some of the ikea options are great...

-How dark do we take the floors? Nate and I both love dark, mocha colored floors. We also love floors that show lots of variation in color and texture, and we want to have one type of flooring consistent through the majority of the house (no carpet!). But we've heard that really dark floors show dirt and dust more easily, and can make rooms looks smaller.

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OR

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-And on that subject..hardwood or laminate? I  know most would automatically say hardwood, but my research tells me that scratching, warping, shrinking and water damage are serious cons for hardwoods. Laminate is much, much more durable, and it's cheaper...And what should we do in the basement? I really don't want any carpet in my new house - I think it traps dirt and allergens like WHOA and it's expensive to replace. But is a hard floor in the basement just plain ridiculous?  Maybe something like cork would be a softer, warmer material? Flooring the bathroom is another concern, as laminate and hardwood don't do well there. To be honest, I'm leaning towards a linoleum type flooring for the bathrooms...I might be the only one, but I really don't like tile that much. The grout is a pain in the rear end to clean, and the tiles are so cold and hard underfoot! Plus the tiles can crack, and prying them up to replace them blows.

-Granite countertops...worth it? I really like recycled glass, but I'm pretty sure that it's out of our price range. Granite probably is too...I'm not sure I can fork over that much cash for a counter! I like seamless options like Corian, and butcher block makes my heart pitter patter, but I hear that all it takes is one relative with a butter knife and you're stuck with obvious scratches...

SO MANY CHOICES.


What do you think? Did you even read this far (world's.longest.post)? And can we agree to say a prayer of thanks for Pinterest?

that one time when my kid slept

This past Friday was a terrible, terrible night. Jax wasn't feeling well, and he hadn't been sleeping well for the last couple days. Honestly...I'm not sure he's ever slept well...we've had one or two 5 hours stretches of sleep when he was itty bitty, but lately a two hour stretch was considered "really good".

Friday was especially awful, though. He woke up every 20 or 30 minutes all.night.long.  I'd spend 15 minutes calming him down, patting his back and nursing to get him back to sleep. I'd wait until I was sure he was sleeping deeply, set him down next to me, roll over and close by eyes. Like clock work, the very second I closed my eyes he would open his, and start screaming. I felt awful for him, he was battling a stuffy nose and a bit of a cough, and if he had the same virus I'd had, I'm guessing his throat was sore too. By about midnight, I was crying too. Already sleep deprived, I wasn't sure how in the hell I was going to do this for another 6 hours.

I should also mention that this was during one of Nate's long stretches at work (he's still on the over night shift) so I was alone, and had been the last few nights. Somehow I made it through until Nate came home at 6 am, took J and let me "sleep in" until 7:30. That hour and half was golden.

Saturday went unusually well. Jax seemed to be feeling a bit better (thank you breastfeeding) and seemed more like himself, although he was definitely tired. For a few weeks prior we'd been attempting to implement pieces of the No Cry Sleep Solution. We'd seen huge improvements in the consistency and length of Jaxon's naps, but on Saturday he blew me away by taking two 2 hour naps right on schedule. He even went down for his third, shorter nap (about 45 minutes) which he seems to be on the verge of dropping. I did not know what to do with 4 hours of free time! I puttered around the house, certain he'd wake up any minute.

(In hindsight, I totally should have napped myself).

Saturday night rolled around, and I was on my own once again. I followed our bedtime ritual and put him to sleep in his crib. He woke after about an hour, had a good nursing session and went back down easily. He woke up an hour later, around 9:30, nursed again and was back in bed around 10 pm. Dead tired, I climbed into bed with the baby monitor and passed out.

I woke up Sunday morning at 5:30 am. I heard Nate downstairs, and the baby monitor was off, so I assumed Nate had been keeping an eye on Jax. But then Nate said he he'd just got home, and hadn't checked on J because he hadn't made a peep.

At this point I had a heart attack. I realized that I hadn't heard from my son in over seven hours. I flew into his room with all sorts of terrible visions running through my head. But I found him, safe, sound, and practicing his crawling skills in his crib. Promptly, I started bawling. I still feel absolutely terrible about this whole ordeal. Here is the question haunting me: Did I let my baby cry it out by accident? 

I have no idea why the baby monitor was off, and even sitting here today, I still don't know exactly what happened. Did I turn off the baby monitor in my sleep? Did the monitor die? And since our bedrooms are right next to each other, was I just so tired that I didn't hear him cry? Was he so tired that he just needed to sleep? Did he actually sleep for 7+ hours? Did the No Cry Sleep Solution all of a sudden "click" and start working?

But OH, it gets better. For the past three nights, he has consistently slept better than EVER before. Last night he had a six hour stretch. Literally overnight, it seems that we've gone from a restless babe who never seemed to fall into a deep sleep, to a little boy who has almost reached that magical milestone -- sleeping through the night. Considering that mama hadn't slept that long in well over 8 months, we're all pretty excited about this.

(I'm scared that I just jinxed it.)

Now, I'm definitely not complaining, but I'm pretty sure that is NOT how these things happen. Everything I've read says that sleep improves gradually, over the course of a couple months...not in one night. And even if he did cry it out by accident (sob!), from what I've read, the "cry it out method" takes more than one day too.

Thoughts? Is this a fluke? Should I brace for a regression, or does this mean we are on an upward spiral?

(please, Lord, let it continue.)

**I feel like I need a little disclaimer - I personally don't believe in the "cry it out method", especially for little babies, and will never go that route with my kid(s). That's the main reason I still feel guilty about all of this, so please don't make me feel worse by telling me how awful it is for them.

XO.

selling your house is no fun.

We are in a state of limbo with our house. We thought we were going to receive an offer a few weeks ago, but the buyer came through again last Sunday and we haven't heard anything since. Maybe he's a slow mover and is still thinking it over? Maybe he decided to put an offer in somewhere else? We have no idea. We have an accepted offer on another lot, but it's contingent on the sale of our home - so without a buyer, nothing happens.

We went with a six month For Sale By Owner MLS listing, so in another month or so we'll have to pay another couple hundred bucks to relist our place. Several hundred dollars trumps the several thousand we'd have to pay a realtor, but still - boo. We're also in a weird place with home improvements...we are going to need new carpet relatively soon, but we don't really want to replace it since we're hoping to sell, and we figure a new buyer might want something different anyways. New carpet (the cheap stuff!) would be close to $2000 just for the two main floors, so we are really hoping not to have to replace it.

And if we're going to be stuck here for a year or more yet...I'd like to rip out all the carpet and ugly tile and put down laminate...I'd also love to paint our cabinets and trim (white or grey) but the average buyer in the midwest looks for carpet, tile and oak finish (blech), so...who knows what's best.

There are other things on my mind too...like adding a buffet table to increase our kitchen storage, and moving our bookshelf and desk to have more room on the main floor. Maybe make the basement into a playroom (but then we'd want to finish our lower level bathroom...), add some sort of cabinetry by the garage door, and swap our kitchen table for something rectangular to make the room flow better.

For someone who loves planning - this stuff is HARD. There are so many things up in the air - will we be living here for Jaxon's first birthday? Will we be living here when we want to have another baby? Will we continue to have last minute showings for the next couple months? Couple YEARS?

The only thing that remains consistent is that we don't want to live here forever. There is nothing imminently wrong with our home, but we aren't huge fans of the neighbors, the layout is going to get tricky if/when we have another baby (only two bedrooms on the second floor, the third bedroom is in the basement) and we dream of a yard, a garden, a bigger kitchen and more privacy. We aren't loving paying condo dues, and we fear that those will continue to go up in price each year, we also know that at least two of the neighbors living in these condos want to sell, so if we took ours off the market others would continue trying to sell.

All in all, nothing has happened, and we may not sell for months - or we may sell tomorrow.

On a totally unrelated note - these photos are amazing.